Inklings

A Dagger in the Gut

2010-04-28T13:31:00.005-07:00

Last weekend I went to the Pikes Peak Writers Conference, also known as PPWCon, in Colorado Springs.

I participated in a "Read and Critique" session.

A Read and Critique, according to a non-writing friend of mine, is kind of like sticking yourself in the gut with a dagger, slicing sideways, twice, then letting your guts spill out all over the place and all over everyone nearby.

Fortunately it isn't actually *bloody*.

A writer takes the first page of their manuscript to the session, then either reads it themselves, or it is read anonymously. The reading is done to an editor or agent who signed up for this gory hour. This person responds to the reading by saying whether they would turn the page -- or not.

This is The Test. Is that first page written well enough, or intriguing enough for the editor or agent to continue reading?

Editors and agents see hundreds of manuscripts each week. Yes. Hundreds!

How many of you thought that seeing hundreds of stories would be a Fab Job? Still think so?

It's overwhelming, I think. But then, I'm a slow reader.

Over time, these professional readers have learned to tell quickly whether a manuscript is worth reviewing. The first page tells whether the person is amateur or professional, just by whether they use correct spelling and grammar. Also, the first page shows the writer's facility with language, or whether their story is trite.

I attended several Read and Critique sessions at a conference of the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators (SCBWI). An eye opener was the number of stories that were the same: kid gets separated from Mom, kid goes on adventure, favorite pets, etc. I could see why editors would be tired and bored of the same ol' thing, and looking for something original.

At the session where I read my First Page, the agent gave a 3 minute critique to each writer. This was definitely an added bonus -- except that I was so nervous I don't remember a lot of what she said. All of us were shaking like Jello, wishing we were in one of those anonymous reading sessions. Maybe no blood all over everything, but certainly fear-drenched sweat seeping onto chair seats and along the carpet.

I read my first page, listened politely to the critique, then sat down. I turned to the lady sitting next to me and I asked, "Did she say whether she would turn the page?" The woman patted my knee sympathetically. "Yes."

Whew! I passed! One more gut wrenching experience faced and survived.

Vacation's End

2009-11-24T19:40:00.003-07:00

I return tentatively.

I think I'm afraid that if I start blogging again, I'll quit again, and then I'll just be a Quitter. (Not good if you're NOT a smoker.)

To recap:
Since May 27, I left Romania where my husband and I had been serving in the Peace Corps. We completed our service -- happily! We toured Europe: Brussels, Amsterdam, Bath, Luxembourg. We left our Romanian kitty at a kennel outside Brussels where the keepers did not speak English and at one point wanted to send her to a shelter because they thought we'd abandoned her. With the help of our Romanian friend living in Luxembourg, the cat's reservation was confirmed and we picked her up our last day in Europe. We flew across the Atlantic, gaining back the day we had lost 2 1/2 years before. We landed in Chicago, took the screaming Romanian kitty through customs, and managed to get all of us safely to Minneapolis and into the arms of our daughter, Brianna. Whew! Back in America!

We visited with Brianna and met her boyfriend Cameron. The Romanian kitty was very rude and unfriendly to the two American kitties who were her hosts. We repossessed our car, which Brianna had been caring for, and headed west to Colorado, the Romanian kitty screaming every single minute of the way. We stayed a night at a small town in Nebraska where a tornado came visiting. Whew!

In Colorado we visited our good friend in Denver, and the Romanian kitty stayed in a small apartment room by herself -- no mixing this time with native American kitties. Then on to our home town of Alamosa in southern Colorado. The first day there we hugged my Mom, ate at a favorite Mexican food restaurant, and bought a new mattress. Oh, and we left the Romanian kitty in an empty room (well, all the rooms were empty) at our house. The next day we had our mattress so we began to move back in. Our son, Prester John, appeared and took charge of our furniture and all the boxes. We remember this as a time of naps and oxygen deprivation. The Romanian kitty, meanwhile, learned about the stairs and enjoyed running up and down them with gleeful speed and thumping.

We arrived around July 4, so we went to all the Independence Day festivities we could find. We were so glad to be back home in America!

Through July and August I applied for "day" jobs. I worked for a month as a business manager helping a man create a local business of making high-end fashion boots. It was a learning experience for both of us. Then I was offered and accepted the job of General Manager at our local public radio station, KRZA 88.7 FM.

So what happened to my passion, my writing, during all this?

Amazingly, I wrote fairly consistently; especially when we first returned and I had more time. I even attended a conference for writers of children's books. And, of course, I rejoined my writers group, the Sophia Circle.

I feel like I am finally, and once again, breathing.

I am re-acquainting myself with writers, writing topics, and writing goals. I am remembering how much I love this work. I am remembering that it has always been with me, and still is.

Though tentative, I am reaching once again for the passion.

Do Passions Take Vacation?

2009-05-27T08:01:00.003-07:00

The next two weeks I'll be on vacation -- traveling to Brussels, Amsterdam, Bath, Luxembourg. We'll take a ferry across the English channel and return through the Chunnel. We'll party in Amsterdam and meditate at Stonehenge.

I'm wondering if my writing life will also take a vacation. I think the answer is "No!"

I'm already wondering what interesting stories I'll hear, what books of folktales I can buy, what history I'll learn.

I think when we are passionate about something, we never take a vacation from it. We take vacations away from "work", earning a living, coping with deadlines and stress. We don't vacation from the passions of our life; we embrace the new adventures.

We're going to Bath, England. I feel like I've been there before, so I expect some sort of story will capture my imagination and get her playing excitedly.

I'll let you know if anything exciting comes along on this vacation.

What about you? When you go on vacation, do you leave your hobby, your passion behind?

Antidote to Whining

2009-04-30T00:15:00.003-07:00

My antidote, to whining about creating stories, is to create a new project.

This week, a project far in the back of my mind, suddenly came forward and demanded a lot of attention. It had been just a funny idea, a concept, something to work on years from now.

Then I saw the characters in a tough, very tough situation and I had to start writing.

I don't know if this happens to other people, but for writers this is a common tale: we're just going about our lives and suddenly an idea arrives and we must write and write and ignore the rest of the world -- if possible -- and write until our hand or fingers or head hurt. It's an exhilarating time, full of suspense and joy. I've heard that runners experience a "runner's high" after running for a period of time. This is the "writer's high".

And we all know that joyfulness is a great cure for depression and sadness. It's also great for whining. I feel rejuvinated, happy. I feel like I really am still a great story teller.

My advise to others struggling with creative block: start a new project.

Tantrum -- darn it!

2009-04-23T22:15:00.004-07:00

So I tried, I really did. I didn't pick up a pen. I ignored my notebooks. I avoided the internet and the writer's lists. I forced myself to imagine a life without creating stories. "It can't be THAT hard," I assured myself.

I've quit jobs before. It's sometimes a painful process, but then I move on. I don't dwell on that stuff anymore. I look forward.

As I was planning my new life -- the one without telling stories -- my mind drifted to one on my characters and I wondered what her inner desire would be under similar circumstances. I wondered about her "foil" and the kind of trouble I could make for the two of them.

Wait!

Stop!

I quit! Remember? I wasn't going to be a writer any more. I MUST think of other things.

And then there I was -- in another unguarded moment -- with pen in hand, scratching out words on a page, solving a plot problem in another tale.

Heavy sigh.

Right now the internet is filled with inspiration from that Susan Boyle woman, the model of staying true to your dreams and your talent. Oh yes, I've seen the YouTube video -- about a hundred and eleven times. I've cried. I've wept. I've wanted the best for her. I've even been envious! She's younger than me, after all, and way more talented!

We're all envious, and we're all jumping and cheering for her. She's us. She's normal. She just wants to sing really, really good.

So, what I'm saying is, this was a bad week to try to quit telling stories. I wasn't doing a very good job of quitting anyway, and then all that inspiration seeped into the internet and my computer and my soul.

This is what I do. I never have stopped, after all these years. Maybe I'll never be published, maybe I will, but each day of my life, that doesn't matter. What matters is the stories. What matters is being true to me.

This blog comment, by JT Ellison, sticks with me today: "We have to believe in ourselves fully and completely and unquestioningly BEFORE we can get anyone to believe in us. It's a combination of confidence and humility and that secret knowledge that God has reached down and touched a part of us, whether we look like it or not. It applies to anything you want, any dream you have."

Okay, your turn. Anyone out there tried to quit a secret dream? Are you willing to tell what happened, what the dream was?

Tantrum or Termination?

2009-04-21T00:14:00.004-07:00

I just read about the royalties of several published authors. I found their revelations to be VERY DISCOURAGING. I am wondering why in the world I'm pursuing such a STUPID career.

I wonder if Young Tiger Woods ever had that day when he said, "This is the STUPIDEST game ever! What the heck am I doing here? I could be an accountant. I could have a love life. I could play piano. ENOUGH! I'm outta here!" Then he stomped off the golf course, swearing under his breath. His father, watching his five-year-old have this tantrum, wondered if this was the final hurrah for his kid.

Many years ago I worked with a man who golfed a lot. I never knew if he went because he enjoyed golfing or because it was "expected" of men who wanted to get ahead, or if he just liked spending the day outside. Anyway, he usually went to the golf course on weekends. One Monday he was really upset. He told me he was so angry at the whole stupid game of golf that he threw his golf clubs in the river. "I just walked over to that bridge and threw 'em over." I gasped, "Aren't golf clubs expensive?" He said, "Yeah. It felt really good to get rid of them."

So. As of today, I'm not going to be a writer any more. I'm throwing my pens and papers and internet lists into the River of Might Have Beens. This is too much work for too little return. I QUIT !!!

[Of course, we know that Tiger Woods, no matter how many tantrums he has, keeps coming back to the golf course. My friend bought new clubs and went back to golfing. Stay tuned to the blog for further developments.]

Inspiration: Let it Shine

2009-04-17T06:27:00.003-07:00

This morning I watched on YouTube a shampoo commercial from Thailand. It features a young woman who wants to play the violin. But she's no ordinary girl.

Check it out and let me know what you think.

http://pop.6park.com/life2/messages/86399.html

Personally, I'm watching this over and over.

Putting Learning to Work

2009-04-03T04:22:00.004-07:00

I just completed a children's story: Scaffold Cat Versus Bell Tower Pigeon.

It's the first story I've written all the way through using a lot of the new plotting tools I've been learning. Here are some of them:

* I tend to go off in all sorts of interesting directions when I write, which is a lot of fun. However, by itself, this method doesn't produce a clear story. This time, after all the fun writing, I prepared a "root story" which defines the either-or conflict of the story. The protagonist will either get what she wants OR she won't, and the antagonist wins. It's been a big help for focusing the story in one specific direction.

* I really like stories to come full circle; to have an ending that relates back to the beginning. With this story, I "planted" an item at the beginning that would give the reader, at the end, a sense of satisfaction and of completion.

* After the story was basically written, I did several very specific re-writes: one for the "villain" only, to make sure that character was well defined; one for the heroine; one for tension; and finally one for spelling and grammar. By the time I finished these focused re-writes, I felt that I had worked on making the story better and better.

This time, the tools and techniques felt time consuming. I'm hoping that with each new story, the use of tools will get easier, that my stumbling baby steps will become more confident and my stride more relaxed.

Becoming adept

2009-03-31T10:26:00.002-07:00

I see that my recent posts have all been about how hard it is to learn new stuff. What a whiner I am!

Fortunately, I seem to be getting over the worst of the curve.

I am now using some new tools, especially for plotting. This has always been my weakest skill in storytelling. I'm applying them to stories I read. For example, stories usually follow a 3-act structure, similar to plays. Each act ends with some sort of climax or problem. For the last 6+ novels I read, I plotted out their 3-act structure. I identified the conflicts and climaxes.

At the same time, I'm revisiting several of my stories and plotting them according to 3 acts. Some have fallen into place easily. Most are like bad kids who don't want to line up.

At least right now I don't feel so awkward. I just feel like a learner. I started a new Scaffold Cat story and I'm practicing my new skills on it. At this moment, I feel very good about the tale.

But then, this is a deceptive feeling for me. I ALWAYS feel very good about my storytelling. This is why I stumbled along for so many years without learning new techniques -- I was already very good, thank you very much. In fact, I avoided learning because I thought I'd lose that thrill of creation.

What I'm learning is that the method of creating may change, but the thrill is still there for me. I love creating stories. I'll be so thrilled when I can share with others via publishing.

What thrills you? What do you absolutely love to do (that can be shared publicly!) and what have you learned about it?

Learning Again For the Very First Time

2009-03-14T07:39:00.003-07:00

I've always been a good storyteller, but all these new tools are making me crazy. They are so elementary, and yet so HARD to use. I feel like an expert who is back in beginning classes. I'm having to learn all over again.

Fortunately, I have a life experience of learning something again for the first time.

I started playing violin in 4th grade. For some mysterious reason, I was fascinated with the instrument, and my parents, hoping (I'm sure) that I'd soon tire of the fad, actually bought me a used, 3/4 sized violin.

Learning the violin is no easy task. First there's holding the darn thing so it doesn't fall and break into a million pieces and then how do you explain THAT to your parents? Then there's placing your left hand fingers on the fingerboard to make an approximation of notes. Finally, there's the bowing. Who invented this stuff anyway? Dragging a horsehair bow across a string to make a sound?

Strangely enough, and to my family's dismay, I stuck with the instrument and played in orchestras in junior high and high school. I even joined the orchestra in college. Then Dr. Gordon Childs, the orchestra conductor and a fine man who should have known better, encouraged me to take violin lessons -- so I would get better. "Better" at the violin was always an elusive goal for me. But I was young and energetic and willing to try new stuff, including getting better at the violin.

I actually did improve a bit, and enjoyed playing in the orchestra more when I wasn't always the last chair of the last chairs.

But then one day, the whole thing changed. I went to my lesson and Dr. Childs said that I was going to learn a new way to bow. I'm sure I said something brilliant like, "There's more than one way?" And he said yes, there was now a new theory about bowing and I was going to learn it because it would make me, like everyone one else, a better violin player.

The new method of bowing didn't require a significant change. All I had to do was lower my right elbow so that the weight of my arm drew the bow. This was the opposite of what I'd been taught: to hold my elbow up and use force to draw the bow. A lot of benefits were immediately obvious: my elbow and shoulder would not get so tired, my playing would be more natural (whatever that was), and, well, it would make playing the violin a lot easier. Being a lazy violin player, I was all for "easy".

Man o man, maybe bowing was easier the new way, but LEARNING the new way was hard, Hard, HARD! Did I mention "hard"?

Suddenly I couldn't play at all. My fingerings went to hell (well further), my timing was off, my sound was atrocious. I was back to screeching sound out of my poor instrument, just like when I'd been learning all those years before. The process was one of the most frustrating learning experiences of my young life. The thought of breaking that violin into a million pieces began to look very appealing.

And yet, little by little, day by day, the bowing came easier, the fingering and timing and other techniques came back. Slowly I learned to play the violin again for the very first time.

(Sometimes I wonder if the whole orchestra sounded atrocious that year as we all adjusted to the new playing technique. Poor Dr. Childs! And yet the reward when we were playing well again must have been stunning.)

Slowly, I am learning to tell stories again for the very first time. At least this time around I know to expect the HARD part. Or maybe I just know that all the whining in the world won't help -- I must just practice.

Have you ever had this experience? Learning a new technique at something and then having to re-learn all over again? How did YOU keep your sanity? (I'm desperate for tips right now.)

Gathering Tools

2009-03-05T01:15:00.003-07:00

One of the "tools" used by storytellers, is the "gathering of the tools". Think about Harry Potter in the first book. He gets money, an owl, and a wand. These are his first, and most important tools.

I am starting to gather tools for storytelling. But it ain't easy.

I feel like I signed up for a construction class because I'd fixed broken doors in my house and helped with a few Habitat for Humanity projects. Thinking how easy this sort of work is, I decided to start a new career, get some training, make a lot of money.

The first day of class, the instructor gives me a giant toolbox. I am concerned. It's really big ... really, REALLY big. It'll hold a lot of tools. Do I really need all that many tools just to construct a house? I mean really; surely a hammer, a screwdriver and a wrench are enough.

Then I open the box and see that it's already half-filled with tools. Some of the them are familiar to me, some are familiar but I don't why they would be in a construction toolbox, and some are just plain weird. I sigh.

Then the instructor says, "Take care of this toolbox. We're going to add more tools as we go along."

E gads! More? I suddenly feel faint.

This is going to be a lot harder than I expected. Surely there's an easier set of classes around here. Maybe I could go across the hall and sign up for those easy classes about space walking. Surely they don't have a stupid tool box. Surely!

But something keeps me in this class. I slam shut the lid on the toolbox, sharpen my pencil, take out a fat, blank notebook, and wait to learn.

Of course, first thing, we must open the toolbox and use the tools.

My first tool is "gathering of the tools". Fortunately, I at least understand the basics of this tool. How well I can use it in a story is another thing.

What are the tools of your challenging work? Do you use a "toolbox"? Do you ever wish you could take those other classes across the hall?

Curses!

2009-02-17T07:27:00.001-07:00

I'm sick of learning!

My brain hurts!

Damn the internet and it's evil cousin Wikipedia!
Damn them!!
Damn them to hell!!!

My Exploding Brain

2009-02-16T00:31:00.004-07:00

These are some things I've learned about in the past week:

* plants and payoffs - from Alexandra Sokoloff
* breaking the fourth wall, a theater term - from Wikipedia
* suspension of disbelief, theories -- from Wikipedia
* villains -- from a writing class, and Alexandra Sokoloff
* character development techniques -- from many sources
* root story -- from a class
* web site making -- from experimenting
* "down time" ideas -- from P. D. James
* fantasy nodes -- from Wikipedia

I can feel the synapses in my brain sparking against each other, and new connections being made, and my brain flexing like a weight lifters arms.

Thank goodness it doesn't hurt!

What about you? Have you ever experienced this kind of mind expanding learning time? What were you learning? How long did it last? Why did it happen then?

An illusion busted

2009-02-12T11:24:00.008-07:00

I've carried around the illusion that talent and determination are enough for achieving great success. This illusion has been lovingly petted, fed, discussed, nurtured.

The blind spot, or sleight of hand, of this illusion is the definition of "determination". For some reason, I've had the notion that this meant simply "doing". If I was doing something a lot it meant I cared about it and would magically acquire facility and ... well ... some form of great success would occur.

Look at that Tiger guy -- he plays golf every day. Isn't that a perfect example of determination?

However, I've read about Tiger Woods and I know that he does much more than "play" golf every day. He studies golf videos, other golfers, golf courses. He improves a skill by studying the parts of it and experimenting. Then he systematically applies what he's learned, sometimes re-training his body and mind for years to accomplish a small change with far-reaching results.

This picture of Tiger Woods is not of just a "determined" person. He doesn't just practice golf, he studies it. He thinks about it. He experiments with it. He researches it. The picture I'm describing is of learning. Tiger Woods is the quintessential "learner of golf". He's been learning gimmicks and tools all his life. He's been studying and experimenting. It's what he does.

Talent is probably helpful. I suspect Tiger Woods has a talent for physical ability. Sophia Hammond had a talent for visual ability. And Abe Lincoln had a talent for politics.

However, the person who excels, who achieves high quality success, is also a superior learner. They are willing to study, research and experiment in their chosen field. They are willing to fail because they just learn and go on. Their success is built on the research, study and experimentation that they're willing to acquire. When they stop learning is when they retire.

This is extremely liberating for me as I take on my storytelling career.
1) I can throw away the haunting specter of "practice". I've never been good at practicing anything. so I assumed that I could never be "good" at anything. "Practice makes perfect" meant I could never, ever achieve perfection. Now I won't worry about practicing. I don't practice anyway, and I'm thinking Tiger Woods doesn't either.

2) I am a great learner. I am very good at research, studying, and experimenting. I learn many different ways and I love the process of learning. I am already a quintessential learner.

3) If good learning, combined with some talent, can achieve great success, then I am "perfectly" positioned. :)

This was a nice revelation today: Talent + Learning = Great Success.

Why history?

2009-02-08T07:15:00.003-07:00

I often ask myself: why is history my venue of choice for stories rather than, say, the future, or Manhattan, or even my hometown suburb of Wheatridge, Colorado? I know about those places (well, maybe not Manhattan so much ... maybe ...)

Writing about history, if one wants to be accurate, requires a great deal of research, almost enough to get a degree! History ain't easy!

Also, History ain't pretty.

People lived in absolute squalor compared to us, surrounded by their garbage and using the outdoors for bodily functions. They had very limited diets, succumbed easily to infection, started families at the age of 12, shared beds with multiple family members or strangers -- if they even had beds, and rarely washed themselves or their clothes. Our past is filled with filth, massacre, rape, disease, extortion, manipulation, and thievery. And that's just the small town stuff!

It is indeed, as my Dad would say, the story of man's inhumanity to man. And more precisely, man's inhumanity to women, children, slaves, and everyone who is "different".

Viorel Culiciuc, a Romanian philosophy professor, said, "There should be one more fundamental right: the right to be different."

Most folks today would agree with Mr. Culiciuc, yet all folks today share the same messy, icky, inhumane history. Most people in the past have wanted to erase differences and make everyone the same -- or else wipe them off the planet.

So why write fiction that takes place in that dreadful back story, that smelly garbage heap of invading armies and mass executions for religious beliefs?

Because I am fascinated that any good at all has occurred.

Other people study evil: what it looks like, why it exists. When I look at the horrors of history, I want to study good: what it looks like, why it exists.

For me, this is the most intriguing mystery of all.

How about you -- what intrigues you about history? If anything?!?

The Thing

2009-02-02T05:24:00.003-07:00

Okay. Here’s the thing.

The thing is that I spend a lot of time, I mean an AWFUL lot of time, inside my own head. It’s pleasant there and I know everything because, after all, it’s my own thoughts banging around.

But it does get lonely.

It also gets warped. I’ve learned over the years that I learn a lot from other people, especially when I share my o-so-precious inner thoughts and the other person says, “Hm. I don’t agree.” Or “Where did you get that weird idea?” or “No Sir! You’re just plain crazy!”

Okay. I’m not crazy about the “You’re just plain crazy!” remarks, but they always make me think. Always, darn it!

They shake up my inner dialogue and tilt my world a bit differently.

As I write in this blog, I realize that I really want some discussion. I’m perfectly willing to toss out ideas, even be quite firm about how correct they are. But I am also willing to listen to other ideas, to facilitate discussion, to give and take and give away and take away.

With all this in mind – my mind, of course! – I’m going to shift the focus of this blog.

I want to write about writing. But I also want to compare fiction writing to other creative and interesting endeavors. I’m just as interested in the process for other people as in my own. That’s why, I think, I’ve written here about the lady chess player, the man who wants to invent time travel, Tiger Woods, and the lady who developed a new kind of space suit.

And you, dear reader. I’m interested in your creative and interesting endeavors. Please take a few moments to share your process, the stuff banging around inside your head, the cool lessons you’ve learned from others.

What, pray tell, are your creative and challenging endeavors?

My Way, Continued

2009-01-30T01:30:00.003-07:00

I am still here, on my Trail of Storytelling, in the dark forest of my fears. If a wide path suddenly opened to left or right and I could see an easy, well-lighted, friendly passage that would get me out of here - I admit, I'd stay on my trail. If a bright light that suddenly blinded me but showed me how to climb above the canopy to a higher, brighter plain -- I must confess, I'd raise my hand to hood my eyes, and stay firmly on the ground.

I am happy here.

I've traveled the broad highway and even come close to Enlightenment. But I'm happiest here, in the fearsome forest of creating story.

Sometimes, usually in the murkiest moments, when I just want to sit down in the bole of an ancient tree and become part of it, something happens to encourage me. A ray of light exposes safe passage on the path, a butterfly shows the way through a dense tangle, the trail itself smooths for a few paces, making traveling easier.

Today I feel drawn forward, willing once again to take steps, to tighten my pack for the new tools and new adventures ahead.

Whatever else happens around me, I want very much to stay on my trail in the forest.

What do your fears look like: a forest, desert, ocean? Have you ever abandoned a treasured "calling" for another?

My Artistic Way

2009-01-23T10:23:00.003-07:00

I often think of myself as being on a path, surrounded by dense forest, thick with deadfall and brambles.

I can barely see ahead through the deep shadows, the twists of the trail. The forest is generally silent around me on the Trail of my Life's Calling. In the distance, I hear bird song, snapping twigs, even an occasional growl. I have no idea what will occur on the next bend of the path. Will the murk become murkier? The sun more obscured? Light more diffused? Will danger be there, laying in wait? A stalking mountain lion? A serial killer? An enraged bear? Or will the danger be more subtle: poison berries flashing colorful hope when I'm starving, a trickle of water with malicious bacteria when I'm thirsty, a leaf-covered root rising up to twist my ankle or break my leg when I'm in a hurry?

This forest is a dark, unknown, frightening place. It is made up of all human, primal and personal fears. The trees are set against me; their sprouts and sidekick bushes strategically placed to stall my progress.

What a dim, dreadful picture!

And yet ...

And yet ...

I'm still here, in this forest, taking steps on my personal path.

Have you ever found yourself on a murky path, stepping forward toward an unknown but precious hobby?

New Year's Resolution 2009

2009-01-21T02:49:00.003-07:00

Each year I choose one coffee cup. I use that cup all year, every morning. It reminds me of my one great goal, or resolution, for that year.

One year I chose a cup which said, "Home Sweet Home" and my goal was that my family, my kids in particular, would be more polite and considerate. That year I encouraged our family to say "please" and "thank you" to each other. I encouraged thoughtfulness and peace in our home. At the end of the year, it seemed to me that we were all kinder, more considerate people. I felt my goal had been achieved.

Another year I chose a cup with a nice house on it. We had purchased undeveloped property outside town and were hoping to have some sort of living quarters there. I wanted a house there. My goal was a new house. In November of that year, we moved into the used double-wide trailer we'd set up on the property. We became country folk. My goal was achieved.

Having the coffee cup, and one single goal, has helped me actually accomplish goals over the years. It's a way of focusing, without being nagged and without despair. I usually have all year, after all, so I feel comfortable about working on the goal. I'm not resolving to lose 10 pounds in January or to change my life in 10 ways. I just resolve to accomplish one thing and I use a coffee cup to remind me of that resolution.

My cup this year: whirling dervishes, masters of controlled spiritual ecstacy, to help me improve my writing, to create stories which give readers a feeling of ecstacy.

From blog pix, Jan 09

Seeking Magic

2008-12-31T03:01:00.004-07:00

In Istanbul, I watched the ritual of the Whirling Dervishes. It was not the crazy, frenetic madness that I expected. It is a controlled, ecstatic ritual – if such a thing is possible. I was moved and inspired.

Earlier in the day, at the Santa Sophia Cathedral, my cheeks still damp with tears of awe, I wished at “the Sweating Column”. I slipped my thumb into the sea-shell looking hole (thinking that it could also be the eye socket of a skull). Then I swept my fingers around the circle and wished: “Please, let my full-time work be that of author.”

Brianna also wished and I teased her, “Did you wish for that million dollars?” She said, “Oh, no. That would be a waste of a good wish.” My beautiful child!

The ritual of the Whirling Dervishes began with a concert of Sufi music. Four men came out, dressed in black robes which they removed and handed to the musicians. Then they stood as in a square or circle. They begin to spin in place and raised their arms, one hand facing down toward the Earth, the other facing toward Heaven.

As the music played and Dervishes spun, I knew that my wish had already come true: that I am already a full-time author.

I felt a sense of the magic of creation and creativity. Fine storytelling is not the perfect sentence nor the most complex character. It is magic. Developing the skills of plot, description and evocation are paths to the magic. They can lead to deeper understanding and thus to more powerful magic. But they are not the magic. Ritual and practice and passion for detail lead to controlled ecstasy; the dance of whirling beautifully in one place.

This is what I seek in storytelling, I seek the sublime.

And this means I must move beyond myself. I am in the way. To achieve magic, to even touch magic, I must know it in my heart, my eyes, my spine, my fingers, my toes – bones, blood, cells. And then, I must spin away.

The more I learn about storytelling, the closer I come to magic.

Learning from the Masters

2008-12-23T10:51:00.005-07:00

Currently there is a thread on the Guppies email list about re-reading old classics. Several people like Dickens and re-read his stories -- especially "A Christmas Carol" -- at this time of year. Another person re-reads "Babbit" every ten years just to see how her perceptions of this protagonist have changed. Others are re-reading C. S. Lewis, Tolstoy, Henry James, the novel "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn", and Harper Lee's "To Kill A Mockingbird".

I've read most of these stories simply as a reader; I never took literature courses in college. Now I'm reading everything in an attempt to learn how fine storytelling is done. Like the lady chess champion who studied chess moves and games, I'm studying stories and storytelling.

At this time it's very hard for me to just "read". I start a book and begin instantly to analyze it for grammar, plot, credible characters, suspense, etc. If an author drags me into their story, it's very good. If I'm turning pages rather than slogging through like an assignment, then the book is very good indeed.

This makes me a bad conversationalist about books. I just don't think about books the same way anymore. I tend to ruin other people's enjoyment of a good read. Sorry friends.

I apologize for the bad conversation but not for the practice. Rocket scientists study under other rocket scientists in order to hone their rocketry skills. Michelangelo studied under marble carvers and sculptors for years. Teachers learn from other teachers at conferences and veterinarians study techniques of other veterinarians. This is the time-honored process of apprenticeship.

However, I just want to say here, I don't like it. I feel separated from everyone else who gets to just enjoy stories. My goals may be noble, but I am far, far away from achievements to match the chess champion or Tess Gerritsen.

I'd like to think I'll eventually find some authors to emulate. But I'm not there. I have a lot more reading to do. So please excuse me while I study.

What are you re-reading these days?

Prescription for Best Beginners: E for Effort

2008-12-21T04:52:00.003-07:00

Tonight I'm watching a National Geographic special about people with brilliant brains. One woman is a leading chess champion who was trained by her father to use mental skills to develop mastery. One man is a savant who can tell what day of the week any date will fall on, past or present. Another man had a brain injury and now paints obsessively and beautifully.

I was most interested in the woman who is ordinary -- like me -- and yet has an extraordinary ability -- like I wish I had! She was raised to be a chess champion by a father who knew a little about chess, and had some strong theories about phsychological training and education. She was raised surrounded by chess books, analyzing different games and plays, studying past masters, experimenting with moves and ideas, developing tricks for memorization.

She spent hours and hours learning about chess. She fits the mold described by Malcolm Gladwell. Author of "The Tipping Point" and "Outlier: The Story of Success", Gladwell studied successful people and concluded: a person needs to invest 10,000 hours of concentrated and reflective practice to achieve mastery—this amounts to about 10 years.

I've seen this prescription applied to the success of Tiger Woods.(As you know, one of my favorites.) I also saw a recent documentary about T. Woods that explained that he no longer thinks about his golf swing. Through practice and exercise and analysis, he's gotten to where he just swings. His mind can quickly analyze conditions and strokes. He isn't "thinking" about golf, he is "intuiting" about golf.

In the National Geographic special, they also featured a firefighter who is an expert with a specific type of lethal fire experience. He doesn't "think" about fighting fires. He's spent a lot of time studying fires and experiencing them first hand. When in fire situations, he doesn't "think", he "intuits". He already knows clues and possible results of certain actions. He is successful because he has moved way beyond "thinking".

Why am I writing about this? Because I wish, with all my heart, that I could quit "thinking" about writing stories, and start "intuiting" them. I want to be like Tiger Woods and like the firefighter and the chess player: a person who simply writes very well intuitively.

But right now, I'm analyzing everything, studying plot structure, studying character development, sketching people and places with words, networking with others to learn from their ideas. Keeping this crazy blog. Geesh! I'm in class. And it's hard. And it takes a lot of work. And a lot of days I don't want to attend.

Then I'm back again. Again and again. This is how I know that I am breaking the Best Beginner mold.

Are you in class? What for? For how long? (Sounds like a prison term, eh?)

World's Best Beginner

2008-12-04T01:48:00.002-07:00

My biggest challenge in learning anything is that I am a Great Beginner.

When I learn a new game, new skill, whatever, I appear to have the most incredible Beginner's Luck. Actually, what I have is incredible Beginner's Concentration.

The first time I learned archery, I hit almost 100%. Now I can't even hit a target. The first time I played poker, I took everyone's money. Now everyone feels safe with me in the game. The first few times I played chess, I actually won. Now I can barely play, even against a computer.

These games and skills were fun. They were interesting for those few moments when I learned them. Then, as all Great Beginners, I lost interest. From that point on, I didn't care about the score or the technique. I'd learned enough archery to know how it worked. Enough.

Here I am, The World's Best Beginner, finally trying to really learn something. I'm trying to become an accomplished novelist and storyteller. I'm trying to learn the details, the skills, the finer points of the craft.

And I have to say, Beginners are not good at moving into the ranks of Advanced. We hate the work and frustration and sweat and blood and gunk. Yuck! Back to Beginning, if at all possible.

However, even being a Beginner can lose its interest and appeal. I'm tired of the title, World's Best Beginner. I'm tired of the easy, quick win, then move on to something else. I finally want to be really good at something.

How about you? How do you learn? Are you a Great Beginner or an Accomplished Advanced?

Learning From Others: Character Development Tools

2008-11-28T00:04:00.001-07:00

I’ve always felt comfortable with my fictional characters. Some of them come to me full blown, others take time to visualize. But I’ve always felt they were more than two-dimensional, more than cardboard cut outs of heroes and villains.

However, as I started this journey of crafting A+ fiction, I knew I’d be working on character. While this aspect of fiction is not a weakness for me, it’s not a strength either.

Therefore I’ve been on the lookout for ideas to develop characters. Most of what I’ve seen are charts and forms. I like charts and forms so I’ve used a few of these. However, I find myself bored with filling in the blanks about someone: birthday, home town, wedding anniversary/divorce, favorite color/car/shoes. I guess for me this feels more like a census report than the development of an actual fictional character. (Can there be an “actual” fictional character?!?)

Then one day I was reading about Elizabeth George on her website. She said that her stories develop from character. She makes notes about characters and then when she has enough, she puts the notes together into a story. Her novels are rich in eccentric characters, which makes them enjoyable for me. Some of those folks I still think about and wonder how they’re doing. Now that’s character development!

I liked the idea of sketching about a character and just collecting those notes. I can see those notes piling up in cardboard moving boxes labeled “Irina, the laundress” or “Scaffold Cat”. Then one day I’m walking past one of these boxes and glance in and there’s a character, mostly formed, waiting patiently or impatiently for the action to begin.

If the character is described well enough, then I write quickly on the story about them. If not, I struggle and usually want to put them back in the box, or on the back burner of the stove (depending on the creative metaphor of the moment).

Sometimes, when I’m really stuck, I find other fictional characters who can help me with my main character. For example, in the stories about the Constitutional Convention Kids, I turned to the mother of Israel and Jordan to learn more about them. She’s very proud of her kids and very willing to share with me. I’ve learned a lot about them from their mom.

What I’m discovering is that these character sketches and notes help fill in the story in wonderful unexpected ways. Who would have guessed that Elena was so in love with her husband and so immature about their son? I’d never have discovered that Mama Rosa’s husband has an old, painful wound.

Of course, as I write the main story, I’m now able to review these notes, add the sketches to the larger work, and maintain consistency for the character.

I am able to use this technique for character development because I was looking for tools to improve my fiction. I was willing to practice with different tools, and to use the tools in the best way for myself.

Have you found a creative “tool” that helped with your work? How many other tools did you try along the way?

Contest Submission

2008-11-17T02:46:00.003-07:00

Just sent a short story off to a contest.

This is incredibly hard; to send a carefully crafted youngster off into the Big, Mean World. The world will not only judge the creator -- me -- but my darling little tale.

Competition is hard for me. I didn't come wired for this. I don't relish the thought of getting into the ring of prizefighting authors and duking it out for the title of Best, Winner, Champion.

Recalling the advice from a trainer: I tried to concentrate on the story, not the contest. By working on crafting the best tale I'm capable of at this time, I have control. I cannot control the competition.

An olympic swimmer would be concentrating on every tiny movement that makes them a better swimmer. Then they go to competitions to see how they're doing compared to others. Right now I'm concentrating on every tiny facet of crafting a better story. And now I've gone to a competition to see how I'm doing compared to others.

Maybe tonight a glass of wine and hot bath. A person deserves any wee reward for joining the fray, don't you think? What would you recommend?

Despite Despair

2008-11-12T01:28:00.006-07:00

In "Notes to the Reader" at the end of his short story anthology, Strange Highways, Dean Koontz wrote:

"Every writer is an optimist at heart. Even if his work trades in cynicism and despair, even if he is genuinely weary of the world, and cold in his soul, a writer is always sure that the end of the rainbow will inevitably be found on the publication date of his next novel. "Life is crap," he will say, and seem to mean it, and a moment later will be caught dreamily ruminating on his pending elevation by critics to the pantheon of American writers and to the top of the New York Times bestseller list."

Well. There's an answer to despair. Dean Koontz, a well respected, professional writer knows about despair and the eternal optimism that brings us storytellers back to the page.

I used to be curious about miners. Many of them in the 1800s were independent, working their own claims, starving to death under horrible conditions just for the tiny potential lure of the Greatest Gold Strike Ever. Why didn't they get regular jobs, I wondered. Why suffer like this?

Foolish me. They were optimists. Even more so than I. With every swing of their pick or swoosh of their pan, they were expecting to find gold. Lots of gold. At the end of long, hard, miserable days they could probably be seen, like Koontz, "dreamily ruminating" on their potential success, and their "elevation to the pantheon" of those of who struck it rich!

I guess I'm learning that despite despair, a lot of us keep going. Enough whining. Back to the mines. Back to the page.

Despair Described

2008-11-10T01:16:00.005-07:00

October was a dismal month for me. Bits from my journal:

"I feel a great despair about writing. Other people, many of them Horrible Writers have been published. I'm not even on the horizon. Not a blip of anything.

ALL of us unpublished think we're the Best Ever -- just national treasures waiting to be discovered. So who the hell am I to be different? To be some sort of Harper Lee waiting in the wings?

I feel like Aldonza from The Man of La Mancha: "I'm no one, I'm nothing, at all!"

And later:

"I keep thinking that anything would be easier than this Stupid Author Quest. Becoming a Career Violinist, for example. Or maybe an Olympic Marksman. How about a choreographer?

Argh! Despair is a terrible, terrible feeling.

But I am here. Drawn, I suppose, relentlessly to suffering.

I keep expecting the Magic Door to open. I'll step through it and there will be easy, beautiful writing and fans lined up to buy books and get my signature. That's all. Just that magical world. Easy writing, easy fans.

Instead I'm stuck here in the Kansas of my author soul; a place of endless horizons, painful blue skies, burning sun, and cornfield mazes. Where, oh where, is Oz?"

Anyone else ever experience this despair, this hopelessness, and this ridiculous persistence?

Character and traits: A. A. Milne

2008-10-20T23:24:00.005-07:00

I read an article in a childrens' writer newsletter about finding a specific trait to assign your character in a children's story. I felt disgruntled by the simplicity of the advise, but truthfully, I need it. My children's character, Scaffold Cat, is not a unique, lovable character.

A. A. Milne used this concept in his Winnie-the-Pooh series. Pooh is greedy and covets honey. What a great set-up for children; they are greedy and covet sweets. Piglet is fearful and requires constant reassurance. Rabbit is a know-it-all who knows nothing. Tigger wants to play and has a bouncy tail. Eeyore is despondent, very different from hard-working helpful donkeys. He sighs all the time.

These characteristics make up the world of children. They are greedy, fearful, despondent, know-it-all, overly confident, and playful. Children can relate to all of these easily. The characters are exaggerated through physical characteristics.

Eeyore's tail is pinned on so of course he's despondent. He's ashamed because this isn't normal and then he's always worried about whether it's there. Sigh.

Tigger wants to play and have fun and can do many wonderful, joyful things using his bouncy tail. This tail also makes him extremely obnoxious, just like a very playful child.

Winnie-the-Pooh is greedy and the thing he wants to have is honey. This drive to acquire honey gets him into lots of fixes; a honey jar stuck on his nose, bees chasing him, stuck high in a tree. Poor Pooh!

Piglet is fearful and is also small. He needs to hold hands with others, and he also wants companionship. Which is why he is willing to accompany Pooh on forays -- even into the woods -- to find honey.

Perhaps this concept of character exaggeration is critical for evocation in a story. I'm comfortable with characters personality and motivation, but I've never thought about exaggerating those. And yet ... Duh!

Other fictional characters, especially for children, who have exaggerated character traits?

F for Failure

2008-10-19T07:35:00.004-07:00

When I started grading my writing, I assumed that a "C" grade put me in the category of an average person. However, many people have never written fiction, even fewer have written novels, and fewer still have had any fiction published.

Grading myself against the average, everyday person, isn't fair to me, or to all those other people!

So today some clarification. My grading will be of my fiction writing, compared to other fiction writings.

I will assume here that anyone who has been published deserves, at the very least, a passing grade. That would be "D-" in our system. Most fiction is a lot better than that, thank goodness!

However, by setting this standard, I now find myself in the "F" category. Since I am not published, I'm not earning the grade. :(

I've always been a good student, actually much better than average. I'm good at homework, and learning, and schmoozing teachers. When I take a class, I pass. And I usually receive a "B" grade. Suddenly I am in the "slacker" category of students. I can't even get my stuff turned in, much less get a grade for it!

Times like this, I want to quit. What a stupid project this whole thing is. I'd be better off taking swimming lessons, or going horse back riding. Or sleeping. Or drinking a lot of wine.

But suddenly here I am, at my little blog, and working on my stories. I've chosen fiction writing to be the work I master in. I can't stop.

Time to re-think my "grades" to see how I stack up against other fiction writers, and to continue to work toward publication.

Time to get to class. Even if it is "remedial". Sigh.

My Grading Scheme

2008-09-29T02:02:00.003-07:00

The last blog post was about why I chose to "grade" my fiction. This is about the grades I gave myself. "C" is average: any ol' Joe or Joan could do as well. "B" is above average, better than any ol' Joe or Joan. "D" is below average: not as good as the average Joe or Joan could do. No "F"s because, after all, I am writing!

Here is the list of fiction elements, and my grades of myself based on knowledge, experience, and skills.

Elements of Fiction: Knowledge, Experience, Skills, Overall
Character: A-, A-, B, A-
Conflict: B+, C, C, C,
Consistent elements: B, D, C, C
Description: C, C-, B-, C
Dialogue: B, B, A-, B
Editing: A-, B+, A, A-
Endurance -- daily "grind": B+, C+, B-, B
Evoking the dream: C-, D, D, D
Excellence: C, C+, C, C
Grammar: A-, B+, B+, B+
Imagination (added later, no grade yet)
Improvisation: B, C, B+, B
Interactive: C, C+, B, C+
Networking: B, A+, B+, B+
Outside analysis: C, C-, C, C
Plot: B, C-, C-, B
Poetic: B, C-, D, C
Point of View: B, B, B-, B
Research: A, A, A, A
Rewriting: B, C, C, C
Sentence Structure: A, A, A-, A
Suspense (page turning): C-, D, D, D
Thematic: C+, B-, B-, B-
Vivid Storytelling: D, C, C-, C-
Vocabulary: A-, A-, A-, A-
Voice: B-, B, B+, B

Totals: 5.08.08 B, C+, B-, B-

My overall fiction writing grade is "B-". This is barely above average, and for me right now, not in the least acceptable.

Anything else to add to this list? How would you grade yourself as a writer -- or in any creative endeavor?

Why use a grade?

2008-09-24T00:14:00.002-07:00

Well, first, I’m a teacher and this is the evaluation system I know. As I became serious about writing fiction, I realized I needed to evaluate where I am, at this moment, as a fiction writer.

During the Olympics I read an article about athletic training. The article, written by Linda J. Buch, was about the mental game Olympians use and how their techniques can improve personal sport skills. It was short and covered the same basic “improvement” information I’ve read about for years. Perhaps its seeds were falling, for the first time, on fertile soil. I was wondering how to improve skills.

I’ve always been fascinated with Tiger Woods. This is odd because I don’t care about sports and definitely don’t know or care about golf. But there is something so accessible about Tiger Woods. Maybe it’s because he’s Ordinary Every Kid, made extraordinary. I read about how he improves his game, and I wonder if his techniques could apply to me. But then I think, “What am I thinking? I don’t play golf. This could never apply to me.”

The suggestions in Buch’s article were similar to techniques used by Tiger Woods to improve his game. “First, without judgment or excuses, take a personal and honest assessment of where you are today.”

This was tough. I’ve always thought I was a good writer, but exactly how good, and good in what ways? What could be improved? What strengths do I have and how can I build on them?

I came up with a list of qualities of fiction writing. Then I graded myself. Then I started this blog to share with the Universe my process of improvement.

Maybe, someday, Tiger will stop by here. :)

Review: Hillerman

2008-09-16T00:11:00.003-07:00

I just finished Tony Hillerman's Sacred Clowns. I'd read it years ago, but barely remembered it, and this time I read it to answer some questions.

1. What did the book evoke?

The book evokes "misfit". Every major character somehow doesn't fit with his or her current circumstances. The Cheyenne federal agent who is trying to cope with Navajo culture. The lady attorney who is Navajo, in Navajo land, but grew up in the city, separated from her culture. The two detectives, Leaphorn and Chee who feel lonely for different reasons and often challenged by the ethics of their work and cultures.

The writing continually evokes this feeling of being a misfit, a feeling we all become familiar with in junior high school, and frequently face as adults. It's what makes us shy in new settings, sets us to asking odd questions like "What will people wear to the pcinic?" We've all experienced that moment when we showed up for a group function and, for some reason (dress, hair cut, age, shoes, time), we didn't fit in.

I remember going to a party in our hometown. Many couples our age were there. It had been talked about for weeks, this particular party. Within a few minutes I realized that we were the only couple who had brought a child. Our cute two-year-old daughter, dressed in pink, was running through the legs of adults -- by herself. Oops! Here we were, smart competent adults, suddenly misfits. We left very soon afterwards.

So by evoking "misfit", Hillerman tapped a universal unease. A reader could think, "I don't know what it's like to be a Navajo tribal policeman, but I sure know what it's like to not fit in."

2. What makes Tony Hillerman a good writer?

I found numerous writing "errors" in the book. Several times Hillerman's sentence structure was confusing, even twisted. I could stop and straighten out the sentence to make it better. The editor in me is good at that. Also, words were ocassionally mis-used. But these problems did not slow down the story.

The story is about misfit people in an exotic location -- the very rural reservations of the south west. Also, the story is filled with vivid details about this exotic place: the names of rural roads, the DJ at a radio station, sunsets against multi-colored mesas, the kachina dance at a pueblo, the smell of the school wood shop.

He explored the location with vivid details, and used precise words and phrases to express beauty or frustration or exhaustion.

3. Why is Tony Hillerman a best-selling author?

See above. Plus, the man can craft an excellent mystery plot.

Have you read any of Tony Hillerman's books? What do you think of his writing?

I Love Cake

2008-09-14T09:25:00.002-07:00

I want to be very clear here. I do NOT like MAKING cake. I like EATING cake.

I prefer the sweet white cakes from the super market, but rich chocolate cakes are certainly acceptable. German chocolate is good, lemon is great, orange and strawberry flavored are certainly scrumptious.

Cake is a joy of my life. Although it can make me fat, it isn't as complicated as family. Cake doesn't have "issues" like chocolate does. You can only eat so much cake, then you have to stop. Then it's just there for the next time you want to enjoy.

Another joy in my life is writing fiction. I love MAKING fiction and I love READING fiction. It's even better than cake! And writing fiction has no calorie content whatsoever. The only real down side is that I get very spacey and my family gets very impatient. Like cake, I can only write so much fiction, then I have to stop for awhile. But I always know it's there to enjoy.

I've come to realize in the last few days, that writing fiction is like eating cake for me: one of life's great joys. Along with that realization, came the understanding that like cake, I can enjoy writing fiction whenever and where ever I want. I'm truly not tied to place or days or an office or a desk. Writing just happens where it happens. Just like eating cake just happens.

The rest of life, what often feels like it's interfering with the joy of writing, is actually contributing to the writing, providing fuel for characters and plots and juicy details. What provides this for cake? Icing!

Therefore, life is like icing.

I also love icing.

Metaphor

2008-09-12T02:23:00.003-07:00

I tend to think "in metaphor". It's almost like a game with me, "Is this moment like a symphony, or more like a cup of hot chocolate? Maybe like a wild train ride!"

For a long time I was embarrassed about my metaphor inclination. I had read a light hearted mystery in which metaphors were overused and panned seriously. When I was done with the story, I felt sort of ridiculous to be so attached to metaphors.

But like most personality aberrations, this constant thinking about metaphors just wouldn't go away. It became more a secret pleasure, than just a pleasure.

Then one day I was talking to a well-read literary person and I made a derogatory comment about metaphors. The person blinked, and said, "Metaphors are good."

Picture me doing a mental Happy Dance. "Well, if one person thinks metaphors are okay, then that's good enough for me!"

I've been openly metaphoric ever since. I believe this quirk makes me a better fiction writer.

What's your feeling about metaphors? Is this a quirk of yours, or do you harbor others more dangerous?

Evocative Music

2008-09-08T22:36:00.003-07:00

Last night we watched two episodes of Star Gate. (Two episodes because this is Romania and the TV stations sometimes stack shows that would normally be spread throughout the week.) This show, in tone, is a lot like the old Star Trek series. Serious about a very futuristic, fantastical world, yet filled with fascinating characters and lighthearted moments. As I watched, I tried to analyze what moved the story from serious, frightening, funny, back to serious, back to funny. The answer in part: the music.

Music in TV and movies is like subliminal messaging. It tells us how to feel, how to respond, what we should feel at certain points in the story.

For example, in one of the Star Gate episodes, a plant from another planet was brought back and was slowly but irrevocably taking over the whole Star Gate complex. The Scientist in charge of the plant, and responsible for the problem, seemed unable to control the mess and also was allergic to the plant. While this was actually extremely serious, we smiled and even laughed during these parts of the show.

Why? Because the music indicated that while serious, this little story was meant to be fun. How did the music "tell" us, the viewers, how to feel? How did it evoke that lightheartedness?

Consider the old classical music favorite "Peter and the Wolf". You probably can even hum the tune of some of the characters, like Grandpa (slow, ponderous bassoons), the wolf (intense, urgent French horns), and Peter (chipper, bouncy violins). The composer used the sound, and nuances of different orchestra instruments to evoke the characters of the story.

In the same way, last night's episode of Star Gate used music. The story about the plant was accompanied by a chipper, bouncy tune played on just a few higher pitched instruments. It reminded me of that lighthearted theme on the old classic Star Trek episode, "The Trouble with Tribbles." However, the parts of the episode that were meant to be serious, or even suspenseful, were played on lower instruments, in lower registers, in minor keys, with a slower yet urgent pace.

I think we all know that music adds to the storytelling experience of tv and movies. Music enriches the tale, gets it closer to the pleasure points in our brains so that we are more deeply entertained. In the same way, of course, fiction writing can entertain.

This is my quest, to find combinations of words, sentences, character, dialogue, plot, paragraphs, grammar and punctuation that evoke feelings in the reader. I'm really hoping to get to pleasure points in people's brains. (Nyah, ah, ah!)

What does music evoke for you? Any music you "feel" more attracted to?

Evoking the Dream: Class with John Gardner

2008-09-08T05:00:00.003-07:00

If you know John Gardner, the author, you know he's dead. Therefore this class is being held posthumously.

A copy of Gardner's book, "On Becoming a Novelist" came into my hands about a year ago. I started reading it and threw it aside. "Well this is a lot of puffed up nonsense by some old guy. Not another one!"

But it was the only book about writing available to me, so I picked it up again. "Be positive. You can always learn a little something new."

Perhaps I'd changed, or the Universe changed, or even Gardner changed. As I started to read the second time, I was caught. Gardner was speaking to me, a "becoming novelist" in the matter-of-fact, take-it-or-leave-it manner of an experienced teacher. It was as though he knew his book would be thrown down, given away, found again, re-opened. And he was fine with that, because the person who re-opened his book, needed it right then.

This is what I read and re-read in Gardner's book: as readers, "We slip into a dream, forgetting the room we're sitting in, forgetting it's lunchtime or time to go to work. We recreate ... the vivid and continuous dream the writer worked out in his mind and captured in language so that other human beings, whenever they feel like it, may open his book and dream that dream again."

For the first time, the very first time, I began to view fiction writing from the point of view of the reader. Until my time with Gardner, my fiction was "given" to me like holy writ, and if the world liked it, well okay. But really, why continue to write? Why create fiction just for myself? Why go to all the trouble to write down bits of a dream? Why not just dream?

Because, like so many other dreamers, I really do want to share my dreams. And sharing, just as we learned in kindergarten, means considering others.

In the past months I've willingly embarked on a path of extreme growth. It all started with Gardner's darn book, and hopefully, will continue until I die. In order to share, to consider others, I'll use this modern tool: the blog.

Do you have a book, a moment, an author that suddenly deepened your thinking about something?